My mom and dad both have dementia. I am all alone taking care of them since my sister passed away I have no one to help me. I get sad and frustrated with them both. How do I deal with my feelings?

These are powerful words from one Agingcare.com forum participant. It’s a “cry from the wild” which will touch the heart of most caregivers. Many of us feel alone when we are trying to care for our aging parents and there are no siblings to help, or if there are siblings, they can’t or won’t help. When we have one parent who has dementia, it is hard. When we have two, it is often nearly unbearable.

My dad had dementia from surgery. Mom developed a more subtle type of dementia, the type they used to call “senile dementia.” Now it’s called “organic brain disease.” Whatever the type – Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, Pick’s disease, dementia due to Parkinson’s or just plain “organic brain disease,” which sort of applies to them all – it’s painful for the caregiver. Sometimes the pain is so raw and isolating that the caregivers become more ill than those they are caring for.

Statistics vary, but upward of thirty percent of caregivers die before those they are caring for. Some of those are adult children, lonely and depressed, isolated and frustrated, often torn by guilt. These caregivers can develop cancer, commit suicide, or have heart problems and other ill health that can likely be traced to the stress of caring for their loved ones.

Read more here..

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True or False: Seven Concerns About the New Health Law Checked Out by Kaiser News Staff

Does it ration care for elderly? Will it disrupt Medicare Advantage plans? Is it the end of TRICARE?

The sweeping health care overhaul signed into law by President Barack Obama is more than 2,000 pages long and has been dissected by analysts, politicians and pundits. It’s no wonder that some consumers are confused – and perhaps frightened – about how the law might affect them. Some concerns were raised during the congressional debate or have been swirling around the Internet.

KHN staff writers checked out some of the claims:

Comparative effectiveness research will lead to the rationing of care for the elderly.

Not true.

The law creates a nonprofit Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Institute charged with examining the "relative health outcomes, clinical effectiveness, and appropriateness" of different medical treatments by evaluating existing studies and conducting its own. The institute would be governed by a 19-member board that includes patients, doctors, hospitals, drug makers, device manufacturers, insurers, payers, government officials and health experts.

Read more…

A large international study has found that 10 risk factors account for 90 percent of all the risk of stroke, with high blood pressure playing the most potent role.

Of that list, five risk factors usually related to lifestyle — high blood pressure, smoking, abdominal obesity, diet and physical activity — are responsible for a full 80 percent of all stroke risk, according to the researchers.

Read more from Health Day…

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Helping Americans recognize healthy habits and making them a top priority in daily life

(ARA) – Are you and your health care provider on the same page when it comes to discussing your health? Does he or she think you’re doing as well at maintaining your health as you think you are?

Probably not, according to a new survey conducted by StrategyOne on behalf of GE, the Cleveland Clinic and Ochsner Health System.

While about a third of patients surveyed gave themselves grades of "A" on managing their personal health, eating well, exercising regularly, managing stress and getting preventative screenings, the majority of health care providers gave Americans a grade of "C" or lower on all points, according to the survey of more than 2,000 Americans age 18 and older, and more than 1,200 doctors, nurses, pharmacists and dieticians.

What’s more, 70 percent of those surveyed admitted to avoiding their doctors at some point, even though 95 percent recognize the importance of regular doctor visits. And while 70 percent of providers say their patients only come to see them when they’re sick, only 38 percent of Americans say this is true.

"Healthy living is not easy and can be overwhelming at times," says Olympic figure skating champion Michelle Kwan, who has teamed up with fellow Olympic champion Scott Hamilton, GE, Ochsner Health and the Cleveland Clinic to educate Americans on how to take simple daily steps to improve their health, and their communication with their doctors. "We learned there are times when Americans would rather lean their house than take care of their health, and with my hectic schedule, I can totally relate. You have to work to improve your health – it’s not something that gets better overnight."

"It’s crucial for people to take ownership of their health if they want to maintain it," says Dr. Joseph Bisordi, chief medical officer of Ochsner in New Orleans. "This is not just a question of motivation; we’re seeing a significant doctor-patient communication gap. Health care professionals are eager to help people achieve better health."

So how can Americans improve their health and their communications with their physician? GE’s "healthymagination: Year of Better Health for More People" initiative aims to help. On the Web site www.healthymagination.com, Americans can get advice on:

* What questions to ask your doctor about your overall health and specific medical conditions that might concern you. Developed with WebMD, the Better Health Conversation asks you a series of questions about your health status and generates suggested discussion points to cover with your doctor.

* A free mobile application for iPhones or Androids that suggests easy-to-do activities to improve your health in surprising, imaginative ways.

* An interactive tool that allows you to share health news, features and blogs with others on a variety of sites.

* Interactive data, graphically presented allows you to apply the data and learn about health issues like the major health issues facing Americans and conditions frequently experienced by people with health profiles similar to yours.

"Unfortunately the survey showed most Americans are avoiding the one person who could help them live healthier," says Bisordi. "It’s time for Americans to have a more collaborative relationship with their health care providers, and we believe that improving your knowledge of good health is the best way to start."

Courtesy of ARAcontent

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According to a study published last year in The New England Journal of Medicine, one in five Medicare patients returns to the hospital within 30 days of being discharged. The problem is an expensive one: in 2004, these re-admissions cost Medicare $17.4 billion dollars, the researchers also found.

In mid-March my 85-year-old father checked into a prominent New York City hospital for a scheduled operation. The procedure, to remove a cancerous tumor from his thigh, went well, and soon he was sent home.

But three days later, unable to cope with a complicated wound care regimen, he landed back in the hospital.

My father had become part of a notorious trend. Discharge from the hospital is a critical point in a patient’s recovery, particularly for older people with chronic conditions. The process is supposed to be carefully planned, but instead it often is rushed and poorly coordinated, resulting in complications that send patients back to the emergency room.

According to a study published last year in The New England Journal of Medicine, one in five Medicare patients returns to the hospital within 30 days of being discharged. The problem is an expensive one: in 2004, these re-admissions cost Medicare $17.4 billion dollars, the researchers also found.

Hospital stays certainly are shorter now: the average stay was 4.6 days in 2007, down from about 5.7 days in 1993. But the re-admissions problem is not simply the result of compressed care, experts say.

Read more from the New York Times…

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My father is a relentlessly upbeat guy. “Up and around!” he reports when I call. “Keeping busy!” He tells me about his volunteer work, his card game winnings, the (seated) yoga class he enrolled in at the library. His favorite refrain is, “I can’t complain.” (And yes, yes, yes, my sister and I do know how lucky we are.)

He does tell me about the funerals, though. At 87, watching his peers struggle with the physical and psychological trials of old age, he goes to a lot of them. He keeps losing people he’s known for years — onetime co-workers, senior members of his synagogue, neighbors in his tightly knit apartment building.

His friend Molly, too frail in her 90s to remain alone in her house, recently moved to the Midwest to live with her son; they’ll probably never see each other again. The weekly card game now involves an entirely different group of guys than when he started years ago, and it sometimes stalls for several weeks as the players have health crises or move or die. Replacement players are growing harder to find.

“These things keep happening when you’re over 80,” he told me.  He goes to funerals because, he said: “It’s just the right thing to do. It shows that you feel bad, that you’ve lost a friend.”

What do you say to this litany? You want to offer something reassuring, something to lighten the sense of loss, but you can’t evade the reality: He’s outliving his friends and family members. His cohort is thinning.

Luckily, I can turn for counsel to Barbara Moscowitz, senior social worker at the Massachusetts General Hospital’s Senior Health program. (One benefit of writing this blog is that you can call up experts and pose questions, supposedly on behalf of readers, that you really want answered yourself.) Ms. Moscowitz hears such litanies from clients and their adult children all the time.

And her personal guideline is to remove age from the equation and ask yourself how you would respond if the one suffering losses was a peer, not an older person.

“We impose our expectations,” she said.When old people lose their friends, she added: “We think, ‘You should be able to manage this. This is what happens. You should be used to it.’ Because if we ask what it’s like, we may hear what it’s like. We fear opening the floodgates of sadness.”

But we wouldn’t tell a 55-year-old friend who had attended three funerals in two months to just buck up, would we?

“When there’s been loss, to expect happiness is just denying the truth,” Ms. Moscowitz continued. “It opens up a divide between older people who then deal with the sorrow privately, knowing nobody wants to hear about it, and younger people who want them to be cheerful all the time.”

Of course, some older people don’t want to talk about the illnesses or deaths of their friends or neighbors, either — but in her experience, Ms. Moscowitz said, most do.

“Those people are part of their history, their legacy,” she said. “If we send a message that we don’t want to hear about it, it says: That person is not worth remembering.”

Grief — feeling sad, weepy, temporarily at sea — is different from clinical depression, it’s important to recognize. Grief is a normal response to loss; depression is an illness that’s usually treatable, both in young people and old ones. Symptoms that persist — like appetite loss, sleep problems, loss of interest in normal activities, thoughts of suicide and, in older people, confusion or agitation — are red flags that signal the need for a medical evaluation.

But my father is not depressed. He’s coping with one of the more difficult aspects of a long life. So I listen to the funeral reports and try not to respond by pointing out all the reasons he has to feel fortunate.

I try to remember to say things like: “Ah, that’s so sad. How long had you known this person? What was he like? Do you need help arranging a ride to the funeral home? I’m sorry, Dad. It must be hard. I bet you’ll miss him.”

Paula Span is the author of “When the Time Comes: Families With Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions.”

Original Content

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The Brown family reunion has always been an event everyone looks forward to. Family visits, games, stories and everyone’s favorite foods are always on the agenda. On the top of the menu is Grandmas Lemon Coconut Cake. Grandma always makes the traditional cake from her old family recipe. This year, however, the cake tasted a little on the salty side, perhaps a half cup full of salty.

Though the family was disappointed over the cake, of more concern was Grandma’s confusion with the recipe and her similar confusion about the loved ones around her. Could something be wrong with grandma’s mental state?

One might say that for an elder person a little forgetfulness or confusion is normal, but when do you know if there is a serious problem, such as dementia?

An online article from FamilyDoctor.org outlines some common symptoms in recognizing dementia.

“Dementia causes many problems for the person who has it and for the person’s family. Many of the problems are caused by memory loss. Some common symptoms of dementia are listed below. Not everyone who has dementia will experience all of these symptoms.

Recent memory loss. All of us forget things for a while and then remember them later. People who have dementia often forget things, but they never remember them. They might ask you the same question over and over, each time forgetting that you’ve already given them the answer. They won’t even remember that they already asked the question.

Difficulty performing familiar tasks. People who have dementia might cook a meal but forget to serve it. They might even forget that they cooked it.

Problems with language. People who have dementia may forget simple words or use the wrong words. This makes it hard to understand what they want.

Time and place disorientation. People who have dementia may get lost on their own street. They may forget how they got to a certain place and how to get back home.

Poor judgment. Even a person who doesn’t have dementia might get distracted. But people who have dementia can forget simple things, like forgetting to put on a coat before going out in cold weather.

Problems with abstract thinking. Anybody might have trouble balancing a checkbook, but people who have dementia may forget what the numbers are and what has to be done with them.

Misplacing things. People who have dementia may put things in the wrong places. They might put an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl. Then they can’t find these things later.

Changes in mood. Everyone is moody at times, but people who have dementia may have fast mood swings, going from calm to tears to anger in a few minutes.

Personality changes. People who have dementia may have drastic changes in personality. They might become irritable, suspicious or fearful.

Loss of initiative. People who have dementia may become passive. They might not want to go places or see other people.”

Dementia is caused by change or destruction of brain cells. Often this change is a result of small strokes or blockage of blood cells, severe hypothyroidism or Alzheimer’s disease. There is a continuous decline in ability to perform normal daily activities. Personal care including dressing, bathing, preparing meals and even eating a meal eventually becomes impossible.

What can family members do if they suspect dementia? An appointment with the doctor or geriatric clinic is the first step to take. Depending on the cause and severity of the problem there are some medications that may help slow the process. Your doctor may recommend a care facility that specializes in dementia and Alzheimer’s. These facilities offer a variety of care options from day care with stimulating activities to part or full-time live-in options. Sometimes if patients tend to wander off, a locked facility is needed.

In the beginning family members find part time caregivers for their loved one. At first, loved ones need only a little help with remembering to do daily activities or prepare meals. As dementia progresses, caregiving demands often progress to 24 hour care. Night and day become confused and normal routines of sleeping, eating and functioning become more difficult for the patient. The demented person feels frustrated and may lash out in anger or fear. It is not uncommon for a child or spouse giving the care to quickly become overwhelmed and discouraged.

Family gatherings provide an excellent opportunity to discuss caregiving plans and whole family support. It is most helpful if everyone in the family is united in supporting a family caregiver in some meaningful way.

“The first step to holding a family meeting, and perhaps the most difficult one, is to get all interested persons together in one place at one time. If it’s a family gathering, perhaps a birthday, an anniversary or another special event could be used as a way to get all to meet. Or maybe even a special dinner might be an incentive.

The end of the meeting should consist of asking everyone present to make his or her commitment to support the plan. This might just simply be moral support and agreement to abide by the provisions or it is hoped that those attending will volunteer to do something constructive. This might mean commitments to providing care, transportation, financial support, making legal arrangements or some other tangible support.” The Four Steps of Long Term Care Planning

Professional home care services are an option to help families in the home. These providers are trained and skilled to help with dementia patients. Don’t forget care facilities as well. It may be the best loving care a family member can give is to place their loved one in a facility where that person is safely monitored and cared for.

The National Care Planning Council supports caregiving services throughout the country.

Source

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If you have a parent or a spouse with dementia, you probably wonder what people inside the disease feel. One thing that’s always okay is to ask them.

Dementia can be a very isolating condition. It can really affect how well people can communicate. Of course, as we all know, it certainly affects memory. It can be hard for people to even find the words or hold the thoughts they have. It makes it very hard to follow through a whole explanation about anything.

You won’t hurt a person with dementia by asking what you want to know. In fact, it might help them feel less lonely. Because of their condition, they might not be able to find you the answer you want. But that’s okay. Trying is good enough for both of you feel closer.

Five Questions People Ask About Dementia:

1. Does it hurt to have dementia?

Dementia is not a physically painful condition. It is emotionally painful, for family and for the person who has it. If you know someone with dementia who is also having head pains or other pain, it is essential to get them to a doctor for help and relief of their pain.

Read more…

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The stresses of elderly care can be managed by getting support and help, taking care of your personal health, and keeping the patient’s care organized.  Visitingangels.com offers home care for your loved one, taking some of the burden off of the family responsibility.

It is stressful being a caregiver for an elderly parent or loved one, no matter how much you may love them.  There is a significant amount of disruption to your life and schedule, as well as the worry and sorrow of watching one you love become more helpless.  There are also feelings involved with elderly care including frustration, guilt, resentment, and hopelessness.  Feeling unappreciated for all of the work you do also contributes to anxiety.  There are some ways to combat the stress of elderly care including getting help and support, maintaining your health, and staying organized about the patient’s health and care.

Allowing yourself assistance and support is critical to managing stress when caring for someone.  Hold a family meeting and include the patient to identify problems and solutions.  Together you can plan the care of the patient and share responsibilities so that you do not try to do everything alone. Seek additional help from professionals, community resources, or support groups for any specific medical conditions like Alzheimer’s or cancer.      <<< we have links for support on va.com/resources

Maintaining your personal health is important in helping you deal with the stress of elderly care.  Getting proper nutrition, rest, and exercise allows for your stable physical and mental health.  Neglecting your health problems will allow stress to catch up with you easily.  You will not continue to be a strong caretaker if you put your needs last.  This can lead to emotional exhaustion, depression, and illness.  Understanding and communicating your feelings is also part of maintaining your health.  There are fewer negative effects of stress for people who admit their feelings and express them.

It is important to stay organized and have awareness about the details of the (May want to use “loved one” along with patient) patient’s care.  You should be educated about legal matters, finances, and support services, and have knowledge about the patient’s medical condition.  This helps the day to day process move along more smoothly, so that you do not become overwhelmed with logistics.  In case of an emergency, a list of the loved one/patient’s doctors, hospital, pharmacy, and medications should be on hand to make an urgent situation less stressful.

Visiting Angels Living Assistance Services is a home care agency offering compassionate and experienced caregivers to help your loved one remain in their home.  Visitingangels.com allows you to maintain your schedule and provides a respite for family members providing services such as meal preparation, light housekeeping, hygiene assistance, and companionship.

Bio:  Grace Enderlein is a freelance writer and editor.  “Combating the Stresses of Elderly Care” outlines the importance of avoiding stress when being responsible for another’s care.  Visitingangels.com offers compassionate caregivers in patient’s homes.

If you are in need of care and assistance for an elderly loved one, please visit www.floridahomecare.net for more information on how Visiting Angels can help you.

Summary:  Home care providers assist homebound patients with necessities ranging from medical needs and therapies, to household chores, and companionship.  This aids in their recovery, comfort, and safety.  Visitingangels.com offers non-medical home care to seniors.

There are many services that home care providers can deliver, from professional health care to support services.  Patients can be visited in their homes for medical treatment by Physicians, Registered Nurses and Licensed Practical Nurses.  These medical professionals can treat patients and provide skilled services including injections, intravenous therapy, wound care, patient education, and patient assessments.

Speech, Occupational, and Physical Therapists also aid individuals as home care providers.  Speech Therapists work with patients to restore speech, and they also aid patients in breathing, swallowing, and muscle control.  Occupational Therapists use techniques and equipment for patients with physical, developmental, social, or emotional problems.  This helps patients to function in their daily lives more independently.  Physical Therapists use exercise and massage to restore mobility and strength to injured patients.

Social Workers are an important category of home care providers.  They coordinate services for a patient, and can evaluate patient needs to find resources for an individual.  Dieticians counsel on nutrition and give dietary guidance for patients based on their needs.  A home care provider that assists patients with general activities in their homes is a Home Health Aid.  They help with walking, getting in and out of bed, bathing, and dressing.  Homemaker and Chore Workers do not help a patient with personal care, but they assist in household duties like laundry, cleaning, meal preparation, and shopping.

Visitingangels.com meets family service needs such as meal preparation, light housekeeping, errands, companionship, and hygiene assistance in patient homes.  They work with physicians, hospitals, social workers, and the families to develop individualized programs.

Bio:  Grace Enderlein is a freelance writer and editor.  “What Types of Services do Home Care Providers Deliver?” lists the various types of home care providers and what they do for the patient.  Visitingangels.com offers living assistance services to homebound seniors.

If you need care and assistance for your loved one, visit www.floridahomecare.net.